in the grip

After committing a full week to vertical mileage I decided it was time to switch gears. Armed with entry-level fitness, I made my way over to The Motherlode where I had my eye on a route called Swahili Slang (5.12c). Swahili Slang is a brilliant climb with several consecutive boulder problems that feature long pulls between good holds. After my first attempt it was clear that this route is not for those short in stature, nor is it for those that have a negative ape index. After doing some multi-pitch bouldering I determined that Swahili Slang may be one of the most sand bagged climbs at the Red.

Unknown Climber, Heart Shaped Box 5.12c/d
Photo by Aaron Stover

Dejected, I made a break for Buckeye Buttress where I was able to redeem myself by onsighting Stain (5.12c) and sending Heart Shaped Box (5.12c/d) on my second attempt. Both climbs are absolutely brilliant and feature cruel redpoint cruxes that guard their chains. It certainly was nice to put something on the board. Confidence has been quite low as of late, and for the first time in months I felt in control.

The following day I made tracks for Midnight Surf where I was able to dispatch Tapeworm (5.12d) on my second attempt and repeat Iniquity (5.12b). Three days later I returned and fired A Farewell to Arms (5.13a) second go. After spending two weeks in Kentucky, I have found my rhythm.

Aaron Stover, Cell Block Six 5.12c
Photo by Unknown

This new found rhythm allows me to thrive. The act of climbing has become therapeutic for me. It gives me the opportunity to escape from the linearity of reality and forces me to live in a series of isolated moments. In the grip, I don't think about onsighting or redpointing. I don't think about where the crux lies or where the next opportunity to rest may be. I only think about what I have to do at that particular moment. It allows me to retreat, if only briefly, to a place where complete control is ceded to me. It is in these moments of heightened awareness that I feel most alive. Putting up multiple hard pitches in a day or a week is a small accomplishment, but being able to thrive on those isolated moments that exist off the ground is truly remarkable.

The pursuit of this feeling is paramount to my welfare and I fully intend to chase it in hopes that my confidence will return.

Photo by Aaron Stover