reset

The clarity I began to discover during my stay in Kentucky has once again escaped me. I am struggling to articulate the very nature of my conflict, but perhaps it is best that I refrain from doing so. I would hate to subject anyone to such a raw, disjointed narrative.

I have been trapped in my head for so long that it has been difficult for me to communicate effectively. While I continue to write, my thoughts materialize in fragments. Much like being armed with a waning candle in a dark room, I can only catch glimpses of the objects that occupy the space. And, when the light inevitably goes out, I am left with a faint, incomplete image.


While solitude can liberate the intellect, it can surely torment the heart. Guilt, despair, and isolation have ravaged me for some time now. I continue to search for answers, but the process is exhausting and has yet to yield a single result. Even the reason for my voluntary incarceration is unknown. Amidst this graveyard of unanswered questions one thing is certain: I cannot do this any more.

It's time to hit reset. The trajectory of my life has changed dramatically and I have to accept that. This year has tested my resiliency, and it will undoubtedly continue to do so. People have reminded me that when it rains, it pours. I suppose I'll just have to play in the rain.


After a two week detour, I am resuming my search for clarity. To say that I am running away would be inaccurate. I am now in pursuit of something far more complex than mere self-preservation. While I am certainly not whole again, I hope to one day be.

I leave for Denver in the morning.